And if you were to ask me
After all that we’ve been through
Still believe in magic
Oh yes I do
Oh yes I do
Yes I do
Oh yes I do
Of course I do
I sat in our bedroom, reading in my chair as Pat fell asleep. I was reading a book with a romance intertwined within the action of the story. As I read about the first kiss, the intensity, sincerity and passion (and it wasn’t even that detailed!), I felt myself craving that first kiss again. Not the first kiss I ever had, I mean the first kiss with the man I married. At the time of the first kiss I had a pretty good sense I really liked this guy as I’d never liked anyone before…meaning I was falling quickly in love.
You remember certain moments of your life “like they were yesterday” and other memories fade and you can’t recall all of the details. But when it comes to my first kiss with Pat, I can remember everything from the song playing in the background to the Pacers game that was on the TV. I can picture it all and recall my exact emotions. Years go by, kids enter your lives and suddenly that feeling starts to feel a bit further away. Almost twelve years of marriage, and four years of dating before, puts a lot of space between the excitement of the first kiss and current reality. Our current situation involves taking a moment to kiss with a child pulling at one of us or asking for a kiss too.
When you first start dating and in the first year of marriage, it all can seem like magic. Each kiss, each embrace, each hand held. How do we maintain the magic when the stresses of adulthood jumps in at each moment and the kids are screaming from the other room that they need help in the bathroom? Nothing kills a small moment with your husband like a child yelling, “Come see my poop!”
I can say my love for my husband has grown more passionately and deeply than I could ever imagine. Yes, it sounds so cliche, but as I have seen him struggle, deal with our kids and watch his love pour out to others, I have fallen more in love with him.
I’ve talked to others who have been married for awhile and have sometimes heard the phrases “I just wish it could be like…” (fill in the blank here, whether it’s a movie or book romance). It makes me cringe inside because those aren’t true stories, they aren’t real life. Real life marriage is messy, sticky and hard freakin work. Throw kids into the mix and you’ve added a whole other level of decisions and things that can come between the two of you if you allow them to. I can see how in the midst of all this, some look to other romances and want that back. I think they really want that magic feeling back of the first kiss, the random flower gifts or the simple picnics. It’s all still possible…it just takes more work now. If I put myself in the right mindset, look at my husband with admiring eyes and see his true, caring character, I feel all those things again. You have to choose to wake up each morning and pursue a person…even if they are someone you see everyday.
After reading my book, I climbed into bed next to my sleeping husband and scooted in as close as I possibly could (it’s difficult to get too close while pregnant). I wrapped my arms around him and reminded myself that even if I’m not 18 anymore, kissing him for the first time with butterflies in my stomach, he is way more than that first kiss. There is magic still there between us and I will fight to keep it there in the midst of all the world throws at us.
*Photos by Carpenter Photography & Design